About Me

South Wales, United Kingdom
Im forty something! Married, mum to two wonderful daughters, both very different, both very special. Im originally from Edinburgh but have spent almost 2/3rds of my life in South Wales now and so am probably as much Welsh (if not more) than Scottish. Until the age of 16 (when I left Edinburgh) I spent a lot of time with Great uncles and aunts in East and West Lothian,but also with family and friends in the centre of the city. So had an equal country and city upbringing. I would spend hours walking in the Pentland hills (with family, friends, alone), hours in the countryside, hours in the dress shops in town with my friends, trying on endless outfits I couldnt afford, hours dreaming that I would marry Paul Michael Glaser (Starsky!!) and definitely hours planning that once I had made it as an actress (which is why Paul would fall madly in love with me) I would learn to fly a plane, hopefully it would help with my developing fear of heights, star in a west end show, have a hit single and buy a ranch somewhere that Paul and I could hear the wolves howling in the distance. Then I had dreams! Read the rest of my story starting at Broken Dreams

Saturday 4 February 2012

Sticks and Stones

'Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me' Right? ....................... Wrong!!

I found out yesterday, to my surprise, that someone in from my past used to refer to me in a rather derogatory way.  I'm not going to divulge how, but I was shocked to be told.  Shocked to the core in fact.  My heart sank when I realised that someone who I had admired, someone much older who quite frankly should have known better, held me in such low esteem.  I thought that I was like by this person, in fact I was actually told that.

So why? Why would they do that, why would they think it was okay and for gods sake why does this upset me so much? 

I suppose it is because I DID admire this person, because I DID think that I was liked, respected, that they were even fond of me, but I suppose mostly because we all like to be liked.

It made what had been mostly a good day for me, a totally, utterly miserable one and I feel ridiculously sad.
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3 comments:

  1. Bovey Belle5 February 2012 at 08:21

    Oh Fi - how absolutely HORRID. I would hate that too - when our self-belief is fragile then something like this is devastating. Try to rise above it. Some people just AREN'T a good judge of character, others don't try to see the best in people. Still more can't see the goodness in people when their noses are rubbed in it . . . it is this person's loss, not yours. I know that you are a lovely person and I'm not the only one thinking that.

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  2. Fi5 February 2012 at 18:35

    I'm more angry than hurt today if I'm honest hun - and hoping that tomorrow it wont matter a jot. Especially because it shouldn't matter since this person obviously does not deserve the respect and fondness that I felt for them. And if there is one thing I cant stand its someone who is twofaced, someone who was nice to my face and obviously held a very different view behind my back. Im not saying I would have liked it if they had shown that side, but at least I would have known where I stood!

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  3. Compostwoman2 March 2012 at 22:09

    I am so sorry Fi - I felt like this very recently when things went wrong on a green forum I used a lot and was a mod on- I was truly shocked by what I found out had been said about me and my life and family, by people I really thought were friends.

    It is horrible and I cannot understand or abide two faced - ness- if someone has a problem with someone then for heavens sake they should be honest and tell them - or don't talk to them, but don't be two faced and say stuff behind their back.

    As BB says, you are lovely and it is that other person's loss - not yours. have a hug. S xxx

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